A Happy Drive Through The Mountains

Those of you who know me well know that I have no patience with idiocy when driving a car. Having just returned from taking my geniuses to be with their dad for the holidays I must report that idiocy is unfortunately all over our roads. Hypothetically speaking, if you see what you think is ice on the road you do not, I repeat, do not slam on your brakes so you can creep across it at 5-7 mph. The people behind you who are cruising along at 70-90 mph cannot stop so quickly and you are an idiot. Check the temperature and make sure it is ice and not just water from melting ice that is shining in the bright sunshine. I swear I need new break pads due to idiocy over the weekend. Another thing, if an ambulance is coming, move to the right. I don't care if you are on an interstate, the ambulance should not have to drive around you. If you stubbornly stay in your lane even though the right lane is empty for ten miles in each direction you are an idiot. One more thing, there is no need to slow down to 12-14 mph because you are entering a tunnel whose speed limit is 55. To do so is a real hazard to anyone who is driving in excess of 80 mph behind you. The darkness in the tunnel will not swallow you whole so that you will never see the light of day again. It is not a black hole in the universe and it is not dark matter. It is simply a tunnel through a mountain and you will come out the other side if you don't act like an idiot during your travel through the tunnel. When you get close to the other end of the tunnel and see the light, don't slow down. Keep going. You are not a moth. The light will not hurt you. Heaven forbid you come out into open air and breath something other than car fumes. Don't be an idiot. Ahem ... yes well, all the above is purely hypothetical, you know. I don't personally know anyone who travels at the speeds mentioned and I would not imagine you do either. Okay, rant over, back to life as I know it.