Critique Group Bomb

I've been busy writing everything and everywhere but in my WIP. I think I have avoidance issues. Perhaps if I avoid the poor dying thing long enough it'll get better all on it's own. Then again, the ostrich lost it's head that way but that's a whole different story. Poor ostrich didn't even see it coming. HA! But about my story. I bombed at the crit group. That in itself really didn't surprise me. I expected it to be torn to shreds because it needed to be. What I didn't expect was complete silence. You talk about eloquence without words. That hit hard. So, back to the drawing board. I'll have to try to figure this thing out on my own for a while, again. In the meantime, I'm still talking with some other writers who seem to have no problems with revisions and they're giving me some really great tips. Unfortunately they all have to do with organization and as per prior discussion we've already established I'm no good at that when it comes to my revising skills. Why in the world do I fight it so hard? Maybe I have some deep seated childhood issues with revising manuscripts. Yep, that's it. When I was two ... okay so that's not it. Maybe I'm scared of being successful. Gasp, am I really that pathetic? Apparently so. Let's add that to the list of neuroses right there in the middle along with the 'that's a spider *scream*' issue and the 'no you cannot wear that much makeup to school without looking like you belong on the coffin lid of king Tut's tomb' argument and the 'would you mow the damn lawn already, the game will be there when you are done' fight. Oh what joy to be me.

I Need A Revising Mentor

Now that my life has slowed down a bit I find that I have lots of time to read interesting and educating information on the internet about writing. I have also come to the conclusion that what I thought I knew, I really have no understanding of. In the pursuit of becoming an agented and published writer, I have interaction with other writers both published and unpublished. Almost every one of these people is far more organized than I am or at least they sound like they are. They talk a really good game if they aren't organized. So, perhaps that's one of the first places I need to start in setting myself on the path to a lucrative writing career. Organization has never been a problem for me in every other area of my life. It may look out of control or messy but my life is actually pretty sane and organized. Well, except for my son's room ... and my daughter's room ... and maybe ... but we won't go there. Let's just say in all the areas that I control, I'm organized. Now when it comes to my writing, I've always just sat down and written. Now I'm hearing about plotting, planning, sticky notes, note cards, organizational programs, outlining and seemingly endless organizational tools. Meanwhile, in my head, I have a start point, let's call it A, and an end point, let's call it Z. In between are all the other points that I want to reach and it unfolds as I type. That's it. Maybe that's why I have so many problems when it comes to revisions. I have nothing on paper to guide me from A to Z. It just seems like such a waste of time in the beginning, though, because I could be writing not planning. After all, by the time it hits the paper, I've been thinking about it for at least six months. Perhaps it isn't the organization that's giving me problems. Maybe I've never been taught how to properly start and complete a revision. Now there is a truth. I've been writing forever but I've only begun to revise in the last few years and they are really botched attempts. So, maybe I need a revising mentor. Yep, I gotta get me one of those.

A Beautiful Fire And Other Nonsense

I sent off my first sub to the crit group and I eagerly wait for the results. All the angst of last week feels wasted today. Its a beautiful day and I have high hopes that they'll like it. Of course, I haven't read the crits yet so that hope could go up in flames just as easily as not. But we won't dwell on that. Speaking of fire, I drove past a magnificent blaze on Saturday. I know, you all are goggling at me right now wondering if I've lost my mind, but really, have you ever actually looked at fire? It is rather beautiful in a very hot, destructive sort of way. The building that was burning was an abandoned barn on an old farm that was ... well, abandoned. Hopefully no one was in it when it went up because I think once it caught it was gone. I wish I'd have had my camera with me when I drove past. I would love to have some photos of it. And, no, before you ask, I did not set it. I may enjoy the sight of a good blaze but I don't start them. For those of you who know about my college dreams, I must say this one thing: if you want to go to back to college, get your butt in gear before the last two days of registration for the semester. Being an old idiot, I did not consider that I would have to wait because there were no openings in my chosen classes. I mean, think about it, who wants to take English classes? You know, besides me. What is wrong with these young people? Don't they have anything better to do than horn in on the classes I want to take? Argh! Ahem, yes, well, that said, I'll be the first in line to sign up for the summer session, you can just bet your booty I'll be there first.

Rest Helps

I must have been really tired yesterday. What a whinefest I was having. I'm still not completely happy with my critique group offering but that's what the group is for, isn't it? After all, if we all wrote like geniuses right off the bat, we wouldn't need someone else to read with a critical eye, would we? So, having said that, I'm still worried about how they'll respond to my first chapter. Personally, I think its slow and a bit boring but maybe someone else will see something better in it than I do. I've already had a first read from a friend and she liked the same parts I did which makes me think that everything that came before that scene should probably be cut. I'll know for certain by the end of next week. In other news, me mum bought a new car after being hired for a new job. She is exhausted from all the excitement of the past few days. I suggested she nap, she snapped at me, I left for work. Someone is cranky. Maybe someone should lose their driving privileges until they can show a happy face again. Just don't tell her I said that. There would be big trouble then.

Critique Cold Feet

The first round of critiques is almost over and next week is my turn to supply the reading material. I'm more than a little scared about this. After reading the piece this week, I'm pretty sure I don't belong in this group. Is the self-doubt as thick to you as it feels to me? I guess I'll just put it out there and see what they say. I mean really, what's the worst that can happen? Okay, don't answer that. I reread the piece I'm going to submit and made a few changes but even I see that it is flat and lifeless and lacks real depth of character. I know it is a very young piece, meaning it hasn't been revised to any great extent yet, but still, shouldn't the characters come out of the mind fully formed and ready to go? So maybe that is a bit much to ask of my tired brain but ... yeah, you get the idea. I'm worried they're going to shred the poor defenseless little thing and it won't stand a chance. Not that they seem to have that tendency with the work submitted so far, in fact they've been really kind and helpful, but they haven't yet read mine. So, if the next post here is stained red, you'll know there was a bloodbath.

I Joined A Critique Group

I took the plunge and joined a critique group. Now I'm second guessing myself all over the place. The other three seem to write fiction for much older kids than I do and I'm afraid I may have landed myself in the wrong group. So, when I introduced myself I told them that if they felt I didn't belong they could kick me out and I wouldn't go postal on them. That should make a good first impression, don't you think? Hmm, maybe not. Well, it's done now and there's no changing it. I also jumped into college with both feet only to find that the pool is completely empty of water and by that I mean that I finished all my paperwork yesterday and the deadline for registering for classes for the spring term is today. Guess how many classes that I need have openings. Uh, yeah. So, I can take German if I wish but I'm not sure I want to. I haven't decided if I want to speak a language that makes me spit on the people I talk to. The Spanish class I wanted to take is online and I would have loved it but, well, you know, it was closed by the time I found it. I know, pathetic but that seems to be the way my life is right now. Maybe someone will drop out of the classes I need on Monday or Tuesday and I'll be able to squeak in. Or ... maybe I'll just wait until the summer session and do it right. In the meantime, there is the scary new critique group and there's always the day job. It isn't like I have nothing to do. *sigh*

Busy January

Holy cow! It's the 5th of January already and I haven't been keeping up on my blog. I haven't been keeping up with much of anything to tell the truth. There hasn't been any writing other than emails and my manuscript is shriveling up and dying from neglect. *sigh* I'm hoping I'll get back to it when January is over. This month is so packed with other items of necessity that have to be done before the end of the month that I don't think I'll get to the book any time soon. On a brighter note the month of February doesn't look action packed at all so I should have plenty of time to write. By the way, it's gotten cold here this week. The temperature has been in the teens which is something we are not used to. Winter coats are everywhere and so are colds and the flu. One school system actually took the day off because they didn't want the kids waiting for their buses in below freezing temperatures. Can you imagine? Everyone from Kansas is laughing their asses off at that one. Perhaps they have reason. Oh well.